The Birds and the Bees
by jeffersonhatter
Summary: Tom has some questions about the birds and the bees, and Hal and Alex set out to help him learn while also learn more about their own relationship. Note and also spoiler: This is set after the end of the series, so they are human.


It was a nice, warm day at Honolulu Heights when Tom asked once again about sex. Both men had the day off from work as did Alex, who had started working at the hotel once it had gotten back up and running. It had taken quite a lot to build up clientele, but it seemed like the hard work was paying off. Hal still wasn't completely sure he enjoyed the position of manager, though he _was_ sure he wouldn't be too keen on anyone else ordering him around, and Tom, well, Tom was as happy as a clam with his position. Alex had taken it upon herself to commandeer Tom's nametag-actually, it was more a case of Alex wanting it so she could silently be amused it said "Ass Man", with the excuse that it didn't look too professional. She then simultaneously talked Hal into ordering him a new one with the official title printed on the front. Tom had no complaints once he laid eyes on it, calling it a 'true beauty'. Alex and Hal had exchanged secret, amused smiles behind Tom's back at the time.

"So... I heard a few of the guys talkin' in the kitchen and I have a few questions," he started, shifting a bit on the couch. The movie they had all been watching had just ended, and Tom barreled right into things as soon as the credits had begun to roll. The three of them were crammed like sardines on the couch, as was their ritual, and unfortunately for Hal and Alex, that meant escaping was out of the question. The statement itself was one just dripping of insinuation, and they didn't seem too keen on asking him to elaborate.

"Questions about what, Tom?" Hal finally asked, his curiosity winning out. Alex was idly playing with his fingers with her own, something she'd started midway through the movie. Hal recognized it as a sign of her being restless, and found it too endearing to ask her to stop, no matter how distracting it could be at times.

"Sex," Tom said slowly. Alex's hand stopped moving as her eyes shot to Tom's face. She still thought they should just rent him a porn and get it over with, but both boys were opposed.

"What do you know about sex?" Hal asked tactfully. He glanced sideways at Alex. Surely, she'd had to tell at least one of her brothers about it.

"Don't look at me," she said, "you're the one with the same parts as him." It appeared as if his girlfriend was going to remain unhelpful.

"Why don't we get you a book?" Hal suddenly asked. The thought hadn't occurred to him before. They could get him a library card, find him a book or two to read and he'd be a pro in no time. Crisis averted.

"Yeah, alright," Tom nodded his head slowly, getting to his feet. "I'll just go get my shoes and all," he said, a shy smile taking his features before he turned and went up the stairs.

Hal groaned and put his hands over his face, giving them a nice, hard rub. "Why couldn't McNair have been a normal parent?" he asked, his voice dripping with affectionate irritation.

"If McNair had been a normal parent, Tom wouldn't be who he is now, we may not have ever known him, and we may not be how we all are today," Alex pointed out, leaning in to kiss his shoulder. Her doe-like eyes peered at him and Hal's shoulders slumped. She was right. Of course she was right. It was infuriating and wonderful at the same time.

"Yeah," Hal sighed out. "I just... I was never told how those things go. I'd be surprised if any man was properly told back then."

"Yeah, but you lived in the Dark Ages. All chamber pots of piss and red shields," she grinned at him, her tone light with jest, eyes bright with love.

"It.. well, how'd you find out?" he tried.

She shrugged her shoulders, just the once. "My dad had one of my aunts come over and explain the lot to me. Periods, sex, pregnancy, birth control... just hit me at one go. I mean, I already knew about it, though. Friends at school and stuff. It's not like it's this big secret parents pretend it is," she replied.

Hal probably wouldn't ever tire of hearing facts about Alex's life, not only because it was something that was new to him because his own experiences differed so greatly, but also because they were part of what made her who she was. It was what made him love her sometimes, and absolutely loathe her the next. Most times, she always found a way to surprise him, but one thing that never came as a surprise was her strength. She was probably the strongest woman he had ever known, and he'd known plenty in his time.

"I wonder why McNair never thought it was a good idea to tell Tom," Hal said, sighing.

"Maybe there was never the right time... or maybe he thought he'd figure it out on his own," Alex shrugged, "... or maybe he just didn't know how to tell him either," she said, moving to get to her feet as well. She held her hand out and Hal took it, planting a soft kiss to her knuckles, one that made her cheeks pinken before he got to his feet.

As soon as his feet were stable on the floor, Alex playfully hit him in the chest for the gentlemanly gesture and he grinned at her. She paused before she gave him a soft kiss and then pulled away to pull on her shoes. They'd been dating officially nearly a month now, having started shortly after she'd returned from seeing her father and brothers, but they both knew they had been one another's for longer than that.

Hal pulled on his own shoes as he heard Tom thundering excitedly down the stairs. He was reminded once more of a puppy, perhaps a golden retriever. That dog came to mind because not only was it a very faithful dog, but it was an intelligent one too.

"All set?" Alex asked once Tom appeared and after an affirmative from both men, they slipped out the door to venture to the library.


End file.
